April 2010
I promised... so here it is...
I promised to tell you more of the stories about my journey out of rejection
that rejection issue...
Last time I closed with a statement about... how the rejection issue had finally been resolved for me... rejection was an ongoing thing for me all my life... 64 years I walked in serious rejection... totally insecure... playing the opposite... playing "Mr. Confident" big shot... constantly trying to prove to somebody... anybody... and most of all to myself ... that I had what it takes... all the while pretending I am the greatest...
suppose... just suppose...?
Easter is a tough time for me... so is Christmas... I get torn between three cultures... the world's culture.. the religious culture... and where I have been living these past couple years... in what I would call a Kingdom Culture... if you are interested in how I see all three of these... please read on... perhaps you will be able to understand my struggle.
...this is the really big one!
I clown around a lot... much more than I use to... the freer I get... the freer I am to fool around... I don't take myself so seriously any more... but that wasn't always true.. Once I had dealt with the really big one.... I got free... before that I clowned around to hide... to pretend that I was really on top of it all... had my act together... I was actually under the power of the really big one... rejection.
some day maybe....
It would be really awesome if we could all get past that one I mentioned last time... you know... the one about how God is punishing us every time we mess up... the big guy in the big chair with the big stick just waiting to beat on me like my dad did with his belt when I or my brothers displeased him... some day maybe we'll all get there... those wound things take a while to get healed up though.
