October 2011
a lot too this...
All this blowin' around stuff... there is a lot to this... it's part of what keeps us from ever growing up... actually I was clueless even what growing up looked like... till just a couple years ago... now I am getting a little glimpse of it after 43 years of walking with God... I needed to get stable... but didn't know how...
blowin' in the wind!
Jerking that hook... pulling me back and forth... one great thing to do for God after another... bouncing this way... then that way... just like watching my leaves blowing around the yard today... rake them one direction... a gust of wind blows them off in another direction... back and forth... up and down... that's what all those religious hooks did to me...
worst of the hooks
I think I have made every mistake... and been pulled about by every hook... but the worst of all the hooks by which I have been hooked... is the religious hook... oh my... the places that has pulled me to with each new jerk... the pull to do great things for God... to accomplish much for Him... to be important... to be successfull...
so many hooks!
Sometimes I think I've experienced every hook that's available... there are so many hooks... alcohol...drugs...cigarettes... sex... porn... womanizing... I can't tell you how thankful I am that that there is a way out... that Jesus can and did set me free from all of that... but you know something... the worst hook of all... wasn't all that stuff...
the hook!
all things considered, I actually got a pretty good report from my visit to the doctor... my sugar was fine... no one was using the "D-word" this time... you know... the sugar problem word... diabetes... the first time it was used was back in March at my last visit when my sugar was on the high side... this time the word was "fine"...and the blood pressure was still decent...
good news...!
Yes... I did say that yesterday... I said that is good news...when I finally get to the point where I stop blaming everybody and everything else for my addictions.... I finally see it... I finally see that I just can't stop doing the things I don't want to do... I see that I am hooked... there is a hook in me and it's got me... just pull on that hook a little...
at the Coliseum...
So there I was... the guys finally convinced me to join them at the Coliseum... to watch the gladiators... I knew I was a wimp... no blood and gore stuff for philip... I just couldn't handle it.. I was sure I'd pass out and be totally embarassed... but I couldn't deal with the pressure from all my friends to go with them... "you'll love it, philip...
on feeding and other such things...
We really do become what we eat... physically... emotionally... mentally... spiritually... so I need to ask myself all the time... "Philip...what are you feeding yourself...?"
My sister fell several months back and explained to me how she was laying on her back in intense pain staring at her ankle... only the foot was going in the wrong direction...!
it's supposed to be that way....
That extra day at the Lake with Ellen turned out to be the best day of my life to date... and that is the way it is supposed to be... days are supposed to get better and better... but that can never actually happen till that "natural man" Philip gets put to death... sorry... it just doesn't work any other way... no matter how hard I try... or how many great things I think I am accomplishing...
experiencing what we say...
I have been talking about "experiencing" the things I say... got a chance to walk that one out up at Shadow Lake...
