Yes... I did say that yesterday... I said that is good news...when I finally get to the point where I stop blaming everybody and everything else for my addictions.... I finally see it... I finally see that I just can't stop doing the things I don't want to do... I see that I am hooked... there is a hook in me and it's got me... just pull on that hook a little...

So there I was... the guys finally convinced me to join them at the Coliseum... to watch the gladiators... I knew I was a wimp... no blood and gore stuff for philip... I just couldn't handle it.. I was sure I'd pass out and be totally embarassed... but I couldn't deal with the pressure from all my friends to go with them... "you'll love it, philip...

We really do become what we eat... physically... emotionally... mentally... spiritually... so I need to ask myself all the time... "Philip...what are you feeding yourself...?"

My sister fell several months back and explained to me how she was laying on her back in intense pain staring at her ankle... only the foot was going in the wrong direction...!

That extra day at the Lake with Ellen turned out to be the best day of my life to date... and that is the way it is supposed to be... days are supposed to get better and better... but that can never actually happen till that "natural man" Philip gets put to death... sorry... it just doesn't work any other way... no matter how hard I try... or how many great things I think I am accomplishing...

I have been talking about "experiencing" the things I say... got a chance to walk that one out up at Shadow Lake...

just three simple days at Shadow Lake and everything is new again... what a wonderful change...not the least of which was discovering another season... I have named it  "Apres Foliage"...

This is Philip's attempt to translate what TAS said... part of what I have been trying to communicate... he used the scripture:  "I went in response to a revelation and set before them the gospel." (Galatians 2:2 NIV)

We have come to simply and affectionately refer to him as TAS... T. Austin Sparks (1888-1971).  His writings have greatly impacted our lives. He was  British. Lived in a time I  neither know... or understand.

  He was almost 50 before I was born. He was 80 years old when I met the Lord. He speaks with words I barely understand. I need to read with a  dictionary and try to relate to a way of communicating I do not even recognize...

Remember when I said this..."What if".... the important thing was why we do what we do...?  Remember that?....

I had experienced a real freedom  for several days after apologizing to the starter... no more complaining about slow play... no feelings of superiority... just enjoying the golf and the people... until..... it happened....