I was... I really was... I was trying  to get involved like Henry had told  me I needed to do... to get involved in a "good Church"... except I wasn't having much success... there was always something... mostly it was either the denial  that there were any further experiences to be had in God.... just go to church... make sure you get to all the meetings... read your bible every day... pray every day ... witness every day to somebody to get them "saved"... but... the other one was even more disconcerting to me... it was all the "character issues"  that I saw in leadership that I just had no place to put...

The next Church I tried was a regular Baptist Church where the Pastor was having an "affair" with his secretary... that's the sanitized way of saying he was an adulterer... I know what an adulterer is... I was one... it isn't sanitary... it is sin.... it is a moral issue... I went on to another Baptist Church... this time it was the elder who was the superintendent of the Sunday School.. the guy who also greeted me with the big smile and  "Phil... good to see you again this morning... welcome to the House of the Lord brother".... then I asked my friend who had brought me to this next "good church"  why was this elder's wife wearing sun glasses in the service...?    My friend explained that the elder had a problem with anger and had punched her out blackening both her eyes...  I went looking for yet another good church... somewhere...

It was experiences like this that I was having time after time after time ..  that drove me to pastoring my own perfect church... where I could now stamp out sin  in the church... I actually thought I could do this... I actually thought that I could legislate righteousness in the Church.... what a jerk I was... I worked overtime on it... I had a leader who sexually abused his wife... it was terrible... he treated her like some kind of an animal to get his jollies from... they got divorced... I had an elder who peeked thru the keyholes in his house to watch the single ladies living with them undress... he divorced his wife too... we had lots of singles living with our leaders so we could train them in righteousness... another elder's wife ran off to a motel with the young single man living with them... they too are divorced... and these were our leaders!  Shall I tell you more edifying stories?

No religious system will ever set people free from sin.... only Jesus can do that.... only a relationship with Him will ever build character into our lives... He is the one that sets us free... not trying harder... not obeying all the rules... not by stopping things by our own great willpower... only a love relationship will produce His life in us...

That doesn't come from getting involved in a good church somewhere...

There were still so many more to go....

:)