...re-connected
It's amazing really... how easily we give up... we hear all these things in our heads.... when a phone call isn't returned... when there is no response to an email... a birthday forgotten (ignored is what we hear)... and the voices play with our rejection and tell us how they really don't care about us... they don't want to have a relationship with me... nobody loves me... everybody hates me... I'm gonna go eat worms... ! :)
I used to suffer from what I now call my terminal rejection... it literally consumed me... it almost killed me... then I had my encounter at the fence in 1999.... and all that began to change... today I am pretty much healed up... just some tweaking of an old wound now and then. Rejection does not start with a phone call that isn't returned... it starts with the real thing... it can start at birth when a mom leaves you on a doorstep somewhere... ask all the orphans in the world about where their rejection started... or when Mom announces to you that you were a mistake and she wishes they had legalized abortion back then... dad tells you just what a worthless piece of crap you are... believe me... this rejection horror starts in a thousand different ways ... long before somebody didn't return a phone call.
I'm not the pot calling the kettle black... I keep working at trying to communicate that one...how about when I had enough after 12 years of fighting with my wife and said... "that's enough... I'm outta here..." I totally rejected my wife... my 6 kids... my in-laws... many friends we had... that was big time rejection... they were very real wounds...very painful wounds. I am so thankful for forgiveness. Without forgiveness I couldn't handle it... all the lousy rotten things I did to people... it is supposed to be the opposite of that... loving... caring... committed relationships... thankfully it is that way now... to the best I know how to do that.
Back just after the close of the restaurant in '94, we ended up moving to Morrisville the following year. I had a very close friend... Chris... he would come regularly to the restaurant and we would have coffee together and talk about virtually anything and everything... but especially we loved to explore together what we used to call "the deeper things of God" back then.
One day... a few years after we had moved... a phone call didn't get returned... nor an email... the usual Christmas card didn't come... yeah... of course...Chris must have heard about what a whack job I had become...
I was convinced .... he had broken off our relationship.
hmmmmm....
On the 'morrow !
:)
I used to suffer from what I now call my terminal rejection... it literally consumed me... it almost killed me... then I had my encounter at the fence in 1999.... and all that began to change... today I am pretty much healed up... just some tweaking of an old wound now and then. Rejection does not start with a phone call that isn't returned... it starts with the real thing... it can start at birth when a mom leaves you on a doorstep somewhere... ask all the orphans in the world about where their rejection started... or when Mom announces to you that you were a mistake and she wishes they had legalized abortion back then... dad tells you just what a worthless piece of crap you are... believe me... this rejection horror starts in a thousand different ways ... long before somebody didn't return a phone call.
I'm not the pot calling the kettle black... I keep working at trying to communicate that one...how about when I had enough after 12 years of fighting with my wife and said... "that's enough... I'm outta here..." I totally rejected my wife... my 6 kids... my in-laws... many friends we had... that was big time rejection... they were very real wounds...very painful wounds. I am so thankful for forgiveness. Without forgiveness I couldn't handle it... all the lousy rotten things I did to people... it is supposed to be the opposite of that... loving... caring... committed relationships... thankfully it is that way now... to the best I know how to do that.
Back just after the close of the restaurant in '94, we ended up moving to Morrisville the following year. I had a very close friend... Chris... he would come regularly to the restaurant and we would have coffee together and talk about virtually anything and everything... but especially we loved to explore together what we used to call "the deeper things of God" back then.
One day... a few years after we had moved... a phone call didn't get returned... nor an email... the usual Christmas card didn't come... yeah... of course...Chris must have heard about what a whack job I had become...
I was convinced .... he had broken off our relationship.
hmmmmm....
On the 'morrow !
:)
