Old Philip the Muser  was pretty tough on old William the Shakespeare  yesterday... sorry about that... in reflection on how  I said he ( Shakespeare) was totally clueless... I must also say that Philip was just as clueless  the first 32 years of his life... nothing about life made any sense  to me back then... life for me  was a "tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury... signifying nothing..."

My best friend was killed in a freakish accident when I was 28... my marriage was a mess.... my business was coming down around me... full of sound and fury... life sucked... signified nothing... everything I was experiencing  was a tale told by an idiot... so I escaped this  terrible life into the world of little theater... my little make believe world where I could always become someone else... and never have to look at who Philip really is....

I didn't do that by acting in plays like Shakespeare's Hamlet or Macbeth... but in plays by his 20th century counterpart... Tennessee Williams...  he made Shakespeare look like an optimist about life... his character Stanley Kowalski was the epitome of his twisted view of males... Blanche and Stella took care of his view of women.... and the play itself....  Streetcar Named Desire was the declaration of his world view....  Philip... the one before  he became the Muser... loved it... agreed with it... hid in it... and lived it... I became the total hedonist.

I seriously needed some help... finally found it on June 24th, 1968.... everything changed drastically on that day...

My world view changed overnight.

:)