Oh if we could only see how true it is.....that it doesn't matter.... it really does not matter!  Whether I win or I lose... whether I get  a booking tomorrow or do not get a booking tomorrow... whether the miracle I need happens or does not  happen... to actually get to the point  where I see that every single thing I go through  in life is designed specifically for me to finally... somehow... get me to the place where I can say... "Lord, it doesn't matter... what you want is what I want... I don't care any more... it doesn't matter... I want your will to be done.... not my will..."It is so hard to get there... to actually say those words... Jesus wrestled all night and finally said... "nevertheless... your will be done.."   He had legions of angels hanging around the cross just waiting for Him to cry out..." that's enough... get me outta here!"     But He didn't...  He just swallowed it.... "“Death is swallowed up in victory.”   He went through His cross the same way we need to go thru our cross...  and cry out as He did...   "It is finished!"Of course.... it isn't finally over... till it's finally over .....     :)In the meantime... as we go thru the process... we just see our hearts change..... as we go through the one that we just "finished"... and then move on  to the next cross.... it is the only way we ever change... it's designed that way... it is the only way He can actually replace our  life with His  life.... to help us to look a little more  like Jesus every day...  to bring His  very own life into this world that desperately needs Him... not me.Somebody said: "If you don't get what you want... you suffer.... if you get what you don't want... you suffer... even when you get exactly what you want...  you still suffer ..... because you can't hold on to it forever."That's why we desperately need to understand the process... and embrace it... it's not about... what we want or don't want... that doesn't matter.... what matters is what He wants.... "nevertheless... your will be done.":)