How long? ... so.... how long do I wait? I wait as long as it takes... I wait till whatever it is I think should happen... that thing that is so important to me... no longer matters...  I wait until it simply doesn't make any difference any more. 

I am not dead until I get to that place... where it doesn't matter... whatever the "thing" is that has me.... that thing I am holding onto... that thing that God just has to do for me... until I get to the place it no longer matters... I won't be free of it... this is not some word game I play with God... where I wink and say... OK... I got it... I get the point, Lord... so now give me what I have been waiting for....sorry... it doesn't work that way... only when I get to where I don't care... I really don't care any more ... then if God does or does not do what I have been wanting Him to do... guess what?...it really does not matter to me...

Then I'm free...