So then... if that is what your are not saying.....then.... what is it  that you are saying...?

I'm saying that my goals are completely different... my goals are not peace or joy or contentment or happiness or success... my goal is simply to follow Him... do what He says... that's all... I do that the best I can... no pressure here... nothing to accomplish... nothing to make happen.... nothing to build... or create...  just be Philip.... one of the "sent ones"... doing whatever He has sent me to do... doing it the best I know how... just being who I am.... where I am... lovin' on anyone He sends across my path... as well as everyone that is already a part of my life...

Really complicated.....

oh... by the way... lots of stuff is going to happen to me to help me get to that place... see... it's actually going to cost me everything... especially everything the rest of the world says is important...all that other goal thingy.... you know... the success... the health... wealth and happiness stuff? 

That's part of another world... and it dies hard....