Jerking that hook... pulling me back and forth... one great thing to do for God after another... bouncing this way... then that way... just like watching my leaves blowing around the yard today... rake them one direction... a gust of wind blows them off in another direction... back and forth... up and down... that's what all those religious hooks did to me... it is all part of Satan's plan... wish I had seen it back 25 years ago...

Wish someone had said something to me about how it was the Lord that had His hand against our perfect church system... and that He really was not after another perfect church... He was after me... He was after Phiip just being Philip where I had been placed... right there in the restaurant... loving and caring for the folks that the Lord would bring across my path...

Instead... a pastor friend came and jerked the hooks... the preacher hook... the pulpit hook... my friend rebuked me for being in the restaurant business... he said to me... "God has called you to preach, Phil.... how dare you waste your time running a restaurant."... and so the wind starts to blow... the wind blows thru my life again... tossing me about...guilt comes... and what does Philip do?.... Philip  starts chasing the old dream of starting a church again... only this time I would do it right... it is so sad... I missed the chance to grow up... to take a step toward maturity... instead I didn't grow up (yet one more time)... instead I was once again deceived... as the wind blew me about...

"we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness ^[d]in deceitful scheming;"

hmmmmmm.....