do I enjoy the uglies?.... not.... nobody does... nobody enjoys going thru those things... but they happen... the uglies come.... heck, we don't even like the bads... much less the uglies... but we will never enter into His rest... until we treat those uglies  just the same as we treat that other imposter... the one we don't seem to mind at all... the goods... those things we want to see happen... those things we have decided are good for us...

I do know that I know that I know... that nothing can happen in my life that God does not allow... whether it is a good... a bad... or an ugly... and in His incredible mystery it will be something that He uses to grow me up into His eternal plan and purpose for my life...

Once I can stop having my own agenda... once I can come to the place where all I want is His agenda... then I begin to see it.... I begin to flow with His go... instead of mine... enter into that place of rest in Him... where He does everything and I do nothing... where I even begin to  see what a nothing I really am... and what an incredible everything He is...

It's taken my whole life so far... all 76 years... to finally get to the beginning...

hmmmmm....