Glad I finally got there... you know... to finally get to the beginning... even though it took me 76 years... I did get there...I have begun... and like the man said... better late... than never...

Actually it is kind of bitter sweet... the excitement of finally seeing it... finally realizing that absolutely nothing depends on me... sweet because I am finally experiencing what He has intended from the beginning... bitter because it took me so long .... even more bitter knowing  so many others who have never seen it... that's bitter sweet...

...actually knowing that God has just been after a relationship with me... nothing I have to do for Him any more... just be me.. each day... one day at a time... just being who I am... where I am.. I cannot describe the kind of peace there is in that... that entering into His rest...  where I do nothing... if He wants something done... He does it... my friend Bodie remembers a friend of his saying once... "God has your number... He'll call you if He needs you for anything..."

Not to mention that feeling of being content with whatever happens... where it really no longer matters what the circumstances are... or whether I approve of them... nothing matters except my relationship with Him.. I am content that He is God and I am not...

So even though it's taken all these years... I am right on time... it is His time for me... then each day... it grows... it gets even better.... every single time I think it can't get any better than this... it does...even right there... smack in the middle of the uglies... if I no longer have my own agenda for God... what difference does it make?... good... bad... ugly... I just have to treat them all the same... just have to flow with His agenda...

like I said... better late... than never...