Musings
so then... what is it?
So then... if that is what your are not saying.....then.... what is it that you are saying...?
it should be the norm...
It should be the norm... but it isn't... this thing I wrote about that we call contentment...having said that... that contentment should be the norm... let me say first what I am not saying... 
it's not though... it's not unfair.... :)
I did say "almost"... it almost seems unfair... to be totally content all the time... but it's not... it is supposed to be the norm... the way that we were designed to live... to be satisfied... it's called contentment.... to be content all the time...
Now What?
So where do I go from here? Now what? What more can I say after last time? There is just so much more.... more and more and more...to experience every single day... more than I can think... more than I can imagine... more than I will ever know... and there is absolutely nothing I have to do... to make any of it happen... so now what?
It is so much more...
Amazing how we want to wrap our minds around everything... know everything about everything... understand all things... figure things out... be the answer person... especially when it comes to spiritual things... I mean like I had it all figured out at least a dozen times in the last 40 years... how 'bout you... got life all figured out?
called?... hmmm... to what?
Another word I use to throw around a lot was my calling? What had God called me to? That was a no brainer... I had learned pretty quickly that the highest calling was to be a preacher... to stand in a pulpit and preach the gospel... and if God was going to call me to something, I wanted it to be the highest calling... the best...
...then what is it?
So... if that is not a "testimony"... then what is ...? What is our testimony? I like to think of it as how much of God's own life has been worked into us... where other folks can actually see some little bit of Him... instead of a whole lot of me...
So... is it this... or is it ....
I always thought that my testimony was the latest miracle God had just worked in my life... is it this?.... really?... is that my testimony to the glory of God?...or is it... something else entirely...
suppose... just suppose...
Is my faith based on what God "promised" He would do for me... on my present need for yet another miracle...? ...suppose... just suppose... it never ever happens...? What then? Has God failed me? Maybe His word is not true...? Maybe He doesn't love me...? I always thought I was to just ask "believing" and it would happen... so what is wrong...
so...how long do I wait?
How long? ... so.... how long do I wait? I wait as long as it takes... I wait till whatever it is I think should happen... that thing that is so important to me... no longer matters... I wait until it simply doesn't make any difference any more.
